There has been a very distinguishable fallness in the air the last few days. It has been cooler, not cold, but cooler and it’s hinting that summer is, in fact over. I can’t say that I mind. On any normal year I am excited for fall to start. Fall is my time, October is my month. I thrive among sweater weather, and hot cocoa and houses that smell like pumpkin everything. If I could live in October all year, well I might just say yes to that. This hasn’t been a normal year, though, and in truth I want what’s been the most hellish summer to be over. Yesterday, the funeral home finally emailed me the proof to Ruby’s headstone. They want me to look it over and approve it before they start carving her name in stone. The thing is, I thought I would be ready for that, I really did. I already knew what it would look like, we designed it after all, but when it showed up in my inbox my heart dropped and I cried for a good two hours. I feel like I’ve been lost a little lately in all the bad that has happened. I can usually find meaning in the hard things, but lately they just feel like a very crushing weight that I don’t really understand, and I have to hope, that as the air turns crisp and the leaves change I’ll find some clarity, and perhaps even a little peace. So there it is.
Here’s to fall. May it bring a little wonderful with it.
Your post is very touching Cori. I think about your loss sometimes and it truly breaks my heart. I work in labour and delivery and i’ve pretty much seen it all and it never stops hurting. It breaks my heart everytime we have to help a family deliver their baby and help them cope with their loss. May Fall bring you healing and comfort. You are a very strong woman Cori and you have keep faith.
Don’t forget to stop by and link up tomorrow, Thursday, for my weekly Tres-Chic Fashion Thursday Link Up.
Agi:)
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Cori, you are so strong. I can’t imagine the grief you’re feeling, but I truly appreciate you sharing your heart with us. I have one baby in heaven, one here with me, and another growing inside me right now, and the emotions that go along with all of that are strong and often difficult to process. I think it’s so helpful for women to share their both joys and their pain with each other so we can love and support each other. I pray that God will continue to comfort you and your family and that fall will be a new season of hope for you.
Be strong Cori! I am so sorry that you are going through such a hard heartache and as a mother and recent miscarriage survivor, I can say that it is devastating. I can’t imagine having to go through that. I am so, so sorry. But I hope that fall brings you and your family peace.
I would live in October too. No better time of the year.
Cori –
When you first shared the news about Ruby, my heart hurt for you. I could not begin to imagine the hurt that comes with that but what I loved more than anything was reading how you knew God had a purpose for it all. Every day Ruby looks down on you and smiles to you and your family. I hope with the arrival of Fall you find a peace within that you are looking for.
My heart truly goes out to you. Thank you for your honesty. (((HUGS))) to you!
Your blog is by far my favorite – and its because of posts like these. I’ve never read a blog that I held so close to my heart. Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts. I truly hope you are able to find peace in the way that feels best for you. I’m also hoping for the change of seasons too.
All the best to you.
Cori, I am so sorry for your pain. I know that nothing I can say will ease it but know that you are prayed for and loved from all kinds of places all around the world. Your honesty and openness really does “strengthen the feeble knees and lift the hands that hang down” and hopefully somehow this will happen for you, too. Many prayers for you peace and comfort and that the fall will bring about the happiness and joy that the season promises!
I hope you can find the grace and peace your heart needs, Cori. I’m so sorry for your loss and the heartache you’ve experienced.
I came for the clothes, but I’ve stayed for the words. Thank you for sharing your joys and sorrows, and know I have prayed for you.
You look beautiful, Cori. Love the hairstyle!
I’m sorry that you have suffered with this. I don’t know what to say other than I know what it is like to have an overwhelming burden to face every day. I wish life was perfect, but I know it was never meant to be…
Ruby is safe now and with the Lord. You have a beautiful family and a beautiful life. Our time here is so fleeting we have to enjoy what we have while we can. We never know what else can happen…
Cori,
My heart hurts for you . Praying that October and the new crisp air brought you and your sweet family something truly wonderful.