one.

3K7A0392

3K7A0402

3K7A0419

3K7A0440

3K7A0454

3K7A0490

Dress: made by me.  Jacket: Old Navy. (similar.) Shoes: Target.  Bag: Anne Klein. (similar.) Watch: Michael Kors.  Sunglasses: H&M (similar.)

This last weekend was a good one.  I can’t even figure out why it was so good.  We were just together, and busy and at the end of the day on Sunday I had that calm, happy feeling of being ready for the week, instead of that nervous, “I didn’t really get the weekend I needed” feeling.  Life has been really, really good lately.  I almost forgot what that felt like.  I feel like me again.  The me I forgot about for awhile, and I feel alive again too, instead of sort of half dead.

Which makes me very grateful.

It was Ruby’s birthday on Saturday.  It’s already been a year; I can’t believe it.  One year.  Time goes by so fast, I’m noticing that more and more the older I get.  I didn’t know how I would feel on her birthday, if I would have to relive it all in my head again.  I was afraid of that, of reliving that day–the drive to the hospital, the labor, delivering a baby who had passed away just moments before.  And I did relive it, a lot of it.  But time is a great healer, and I can see now what a gift that whole experience was.  How it’s fundamentally changed me.  And while I was sad, what I felt most on Saturday was love.  That intangible blanketed feeling of loving and being loved from all around you and inside you.  Love is a great healer too, just like time.

And the thing is, Ruby is part of our family.  I was so worried at first that she’d be forgotten, that she would disappear, that it would be like she never was.  But we haven’t forgotten her, and she has a place in our family and our lives.  My grief is much quieter now.  I keep her tucked into that soft corner of my heart reserved for the most special things, and she’s at home there, and I can feel her everyday.  She’s in everything.

And when I feel her, I am happy.

jean jacket

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

Leave a Comment

16 Comments

  1. Such a sweet dress. And even better with the jacket!

    Posted 6.23.14 Reply
  2. April wrote:

    I too had one of those weekends where I just felt so happy to be present and with my wonderful little family. Happy birthday to your angel baby. Time really does have a way of making us see the beauty and blessing in events that were initially dark.

    And of course that dress…YES PLEASE! Where do I send my money?!

    Posted 6.23.14 Reply
  3. kelsey wrote:

    beautiful dress!
    ladies in navy

    Posted 6.23.14 Reply
  4. Tamathabanks wrote:

    Cori, my mamma-heart is so happy that you are in a place that feels more like your own skin. It is so hard when our worlds are in upheaval, especially when it isn’t by our choice or understanding. Time and love are both great rakers and thankfully our Heavenly Father give us plenty of both. I, too, had one of those lovely feelings on Sunday. After a hectic week in France trying to get acclimated and my Mr. being busy with his classes, it was so lovely to spend the weekend together exploring, seeing cathedrals and basilicas, a palace and museums and getting to attend sacrament meeting in French! Just the together time and the happiness that came from spending time together and discovering together made the whole week of crazy feel so worth it! Much love for you and Ruby am the Robinson clan.

    Posted 6.23.14 Reply
  5. Bailee wrote:

    I love that dress! I hope that you will eventually sell some dress in that style. As gorgeous as I find your pencil dresses, they just don’t work on my body and I’ve been hoping that you would come out with some fit and flare dresses!

    Posted 6.23.14 Reply
  6. Maria wrote:

    Corilynn, This dress is absolutely beautiful. Please make some for US!

    Posted 6.23.14 Reply
  7. Emily K. wrote:

    The dress is beautiful perfection, and the fabric is divine! I love you, am so happy you are here, and feeling better. This was a wonderful post.

    Posted 6.23.14 Reply
  8. Bethany Barrow wrote:

    I love this dress! So simply classic. Will this be in the line?

    Posted 6.23.14 Reply
  9. Stephanie wrote:

    Thank you for sharing such perfect thoughts on your Ruby. Having lost a daughter myself, you put it so perfectly and brought tears to my eyes. Love the dress too.

    Posted 6.23.14 Reply
  10. Abby wrote:

    I’m glad that you are doing well. I love when you call Ruby your “Angel Baby”.

    That dress looks wonderful on you. If it weren’t for my cankle situation I would be first in line to buy it should it appear in your line…:/

    Posted 6.25.14 Reply
  11. Krista Golden wrote:

    Beautifully written, Cori. The journey always amazes me. I read somewhere when heavy heart-wrenching loss occurs, all that you can do is continue to live each day until you feel alive again. And in reading your blog I have witnessed this process for you…

    Posted 6.26.14 Reply
  12. I am so happy that you are doing better! I also love your dress!

    Haley
    haleyvalerie.com

    Posted 6.26.14 Reply
  13. Channa wrote:

    I was reading your “short story” post tonight and would love to purchase the Target flats you are wearing. On the website they have “blush” and “taupe.” Can you share which color you are wearing? Thank you!! xx

    Posted 7.7.14 Reply
    • cori wrote:

      Hi Channa,

      I got the blush color and its a perfect patent nude flat. Hope this helps!

      Posted 7.8.14 Reply
      • Channa wrote:

        Thanks so much Cori! I just found the last pair of blush flats in Iowa. :)

        Posted 7.10.14 Reply
  14. Sarah wrote:

    Hi Cori,
    I love this dress, are you going to make this available online? The style and fabric are so simple and timeless.

    Posted 10.10.14 Reply