Ten years ago today, we made our relationship legit, bound ourselves to each other, and started our little family. We were such babies back then I can’t even believe it. I know every body says this, but holy cow that went by fast. I tell you what, if you want time to fly, have kids, because the world starts to speed up and suddenly you’re ten years into your marriage. I’ve been thinking all morning about how much has changed in the last ten years since I became a wife. When we got married there was no such thing as texting, nobody had even heard of an ipod, let alone an iphone, a good deal of the bloggers I read were still in middle school, and as you can see from our 35mm film wedding pictures, digital cameras weren’t really a thing yet.
I don’t think I’m an expert, but I do have a happy healthy marriage, and I’m very proud of that.
So here are 10 little bits of wisdom I’ve learned in the last decade.
1.Before you get married, choose wisely. Make sure you have the same goals, the same ideals and that he is really really nice to you. Nothing kills love faster than meanness.
2.Don’t forget who you really are. Sometimes after a major life change or role change you can lose yourself a little, but you’re still you.
3. Don’t be afraid to change, and have a little fun. It’s okay to keep growing up, for your interests to change, to try new things and evolve as a person. It keeps you interesting.
4. You don’t have to say every little thought that’s in your head (even if you really think you do), there’s a lot of wisdom in sometimes just keeping your mouth shut.
5. Get jiggy with it, often. It’s good for both of you, and really good for your relationship. Plus, if you let yourself it’s just a whole lot of fun.
6.Never talk bad about your spouse to anyone, even your girlfriends, and especially not your mother. Forget how they will feel about him after, when you vocalize negativity it only compounds it. I know you think you need to blow off steam, but really you’re just revving the engine.
7. Buy his chairs, let him buy yours. Everyone has something they need to throw themselves into; something that they are passionate about, make those things your priority too. He loves the outdoors, skiing, and business. I do those things with him, happily. I love designing clothes, he takes my pictures and helps me run my clothing line. Figure out what their chair is and buy it.
8. Take care of yourself. Stay in shape, make an effort with your appearance. You owe it to yourself and your spouse. I expect Mr. to take care of himself, and I still want him to find me attractive. No one says, “when I grow up I want to be married to a slob.” You were cute when you were dating and he fell in love with you. Trust me, he’ll still love you when you look like hell right after you have a baby, or when you get the flu, but there’s no point looking like that every other day. You’ll feel better, and he’ll still think you’re a hotty.
9. Don’t be a martyr. If you want something, ask for it. Men aren’t mind readers.
10. Marriage is hard because life is hard, be patient, you’re not perfect, neither is he. So be nice, put the instagram away when you’re talking and always have each other’s back.
Love the advice! A healthy, happy marriage is so much work but so very worth it!
Cori, love the advice! All so true. And cute pictures…I remember clearly sitting at your reception thinking you looked like babies:) You two are adorable. Congrats on 10 years. Come visit me!!
So much wisdom in such a short time.
Perfect advice! Happy 10 years — what an accomplishment!
You make great points! Happy Anniversary!
Love this!! Congrats on 10 years!! We just celebrated 10 years on Aug. 9th! Great advice and I can second every single one of those! You guys were so cute!
It really is crazy how much the world has changed in just a few short years. Some friends and I were just talking about who had digital photography at their wedding and who still had film…we were split right down the middle even though we are all fairly close in age.
Congrats on the 10 years and the beautiful life and family you have built together. The advice is wonderful, too!
love everything you said. i’ve only been married 3.5 years now, but i can totally see the wisdom in all those 10 points you made. i cannot wait to hit our 10 year mark and then our 20….and i am super excited by that fact – just the fact that i am excited to be with him another 10 and 20 and even more years makes me happy and content that i’ve found the one i needed to find. know what i mean?
congrats and happy 10 years :) cheers to many more.
I know exactly what you mean Mara! Thanks!
happy ten years to you two!! i remember your wedding so vividly–what a fun day! here’s to 10 more just as happy as the first 10! love you;)
Love it and all so true. Love that reference to Phenomenon. I love to “buy my husband’s chairs” because it is usually such a surprise to him and I love making him so happy :) Congrats on 10 years, it is amazing how fast it all passes, isn’t it? We are hitting 14 next month and I can hardly believe it most days. I am getting OLD!!!
We just celebrated our 8th and I’m not sure, but this looks a LOT like my wedding dress! Probably slightly different because of the two year difference, but very similar. I love it!
We just celebrated our 8th and I’m not sure, but this looks a LOT like my wedding dress! Probably slightly different because of the two year difference, but very similar. I love it! Congrats!
Beautiful post and beautiful advice. I think that sometimes when you’ve been married for a while that some of the things you mentioned are forgotten. This was a good reminder about what is important. Happy anniversary!
“Marriage is hard because life is hard…” This right here. Thank you Cori for sharing your life with us and being such an inspiration. You and your family are proof that there really is good and happiness and love in this world.