On Me: Overalls. White Tee. Sneakers. Necklace. Sunglasses. Handbag.
On Ava: Overalls. Striped shirt. Sneakers. Hair Scarf. Locket.
For basically as long as I’ve been a mom, I’ve been running late. It’s my biggest pet peeve about myself. I think it’s rude and inconsiderate, and yet it’s something I’ve been doing consistently for years, no matter how much I tried to break the habit. So last fall I sat down and had a little conversation with myself. This was it, I was no longer going to be late for my life. But I also knew that just deciding that, wasn’t enough. I had decided it before, and it didn’t make a bit of difference. What I needed to do was get to the root of the problem, figure out the reason behind why I was late.
What I discovered once I really thought about it, was that 99% of the time I was late because I was trying to do too many things in too little time. This led to a lot of problems beyond just the lateness. I was constantly in a hurry, and always felt behind and frantic. Time pressure makes me snappy, and short with my family. And it didn’t matter how hard I tried, I was late for everything and I went to bed every night exhausted and yet feeling like I hadn’t gotten enough done in the day.
Because truthfully, I hadn’t.
Stick with me on this…
I’m a list person. I love to make lists and check things off. It feels great. The problem was, I got a little greedy with them. I started putting more and more on my list every day, in a constant competition with myself to see just how much I could get done each day.
I was glorifying busy in a big way, wearing it like a badge of honor, and putting quantity over quality big time. It was turning my brain into a jumbled, frenzied mess and stealing my joy every single day. I felt guilty for spending time just playing with Ava or talking to my kids after school because it was a distraction from my list, and I was never getting enough done.
Whoa. Wake up call.
Once I sat down and had a frank talk with myself, I realized that many of my problems: the lateness, the constant anxiety, the forgetfulness and the stress, the shortness with my family could all be solved in one simple way.
By doing less every day.
Immediately, the ambitious part of my brain was in full defense of the mega list mode, but I decided to ignore it and just try it out for one day. So I made a list and on it, I decided on a few good things I would get done that day, and nothing more. I made a separate list of things that I wanted to get done at some point and put it off to the side. (Mostly so my brain would relax about them.) But that day, I only tried to get those few things done.
And guess what happened. I accomplished so much that day. I was on time, early even to everywhere I needed to be, and I felt so, so happy and content. I didn’t feel guilty about all the stuff I wasn’t doing and I didn’t feel like a slacker for failing to finish everything on my impossible list.
So here’s my little secret to life tip for you: if you want to get more done in life, stop trying to do so many things.
It’s about doing less and accomplishing more. It’s about not sucking the joy out of your days by giving yourself the expectation of doing way more than it was possible for you to do.
It used to be if I knew I needed to be somewhere by 10 am, I would try to get up, work-out, get ready, get the kids off to school, write two blog posts, answer emails, schedule social media, clean up the kitchen, do some laundry, and edit some photos before I left the house. Even getting up at 5 a.m. that’s just not possible, and I’d end up 20 minutes late without having gotten half the things done. The things I did finish were done poorly because I was rushing so fast to get them all done, instead of some of them done well. And the whole time I would feel frazzled and like a failure.
Now, if I know I need to be somewhere at 10, I get up at 5, work out, get ready, get the kids off to school, then I try to get one good work thing done and one good house thing done, before I leave, but nothing more. I make sure I leave in plenty of time, and I arrive feeling calm, accomplished, and proud of myself for showing up on time.
I’m much more productive and happy, and best of all, I stopped being late to everything!
So there’s the secret, do less, accomplish more.
On Me: Overalls. White Tee. Sneakers. Necklace. Sunglasses. Handbag.
On Ava: Overalls. Striped shirt. Sneakers. Hair Scarf. Locket.
Great advice and good for you for recognizing it! Quesiton–how doe these overalls run size wise?
Thank you! So h&m’s sizes are kind of weird, they’re European. So I am wearing a size 4 in these, and I love the boyfriend fit!
Oh my goodness, so simple and yet something so many of us struggle with! This was perfect, thanks :)
Isn’t it funny how the simple things are sometimes the most challenging?
Amazing advice! Love this post!!
Thanks, Amanda!
Busyness is something most mom’s struggle with I bet… I’ve seen a book called “Addicted to Busy” by Brady Boyd and just the title alone makes me stop and consider whether or not I am being too busy and why… In my P31 devotional this morning, Bonnie Gray talked about Detoxing from Stress, and she has a book called Whispers of Rest; 40 Days of God’s Love to Revitalize Your Soul. I know it sounds like busy. rest are 2 different things, but at this point in my life (I’m 46 with 3 grown sons) they go hand in hand. Thank you for you transparency! Be Blessed! And as always, you and your children are adorable!
Thank you Joni! I love this perspective and I’m definitely going to check out those books! Blessings to you too!
So good and true. It’s so easy to make busyness an idol. It leaves you feeling so lacking in time, patience and wrecks self esteem. Thank you for posting this.
that is so true! When we’re chasing it, it doesn’t matter how much we do, it’s never enough.
Thanks for your wise and authentic words Cori! I totally needed to hear them!
anytime Amy! Thank you so much for reading! I appreciate you so much!
Wise words. Slow down, and enjoy the little things! Your mini-me is adorable
Yes indeedy. I learned this lesson recently as well. I keep a master list of work things and personal things and every day I pull 5 things to accomplish. I started using the Productivity Planner set up (didn’t buy the planner, but just used the setup for my day) and it’s made a huge difference in my productivity as well as in my level of anxiety and just always feeling frantic. Happy you’ve found some peace and joy with this system.
This really hit home with me!! They say less is more…and it is true for so many things!! Thank you for keeping it real!!
Great post! In graduate school, one of my professors gave my class great advice: “Whenever you’re estimating time to complete a task or project, triple your estimation. You’ll always have enough time this way.” My additional advice for those with children is “Multiply your time estimation by six!”. Ha, but really…
When we realistically estimate, or even underestimate what we can get done, we end up accomplishing so much–not to mention staying so much more sane. XO
this is so smart and so true. Love it. ;-)