Top. Pants. Boots. Hat. Necklace.
In the last couple weeks I’ve received negative comments about 2 pieces I’m wearing in this outfit. One person told me I looked like I was “trying too hard” wearing this hat (okay?), and another told me I am “too short to pull off these pants.” I’m glad it’s 2019. In 2012 or even 2013 those comments would have wrecked me a little bit. They would have made me feel stupid or self-conscious, but I’m really glad that I’ve gotten to a place where this kind of feedback just doesn’t have an effect on me. And also, I’m old enough to know what I like, to know my own style, and I’m confident enough to wear it even if nobody else gets or likes it. The truth is, I love wearing hats. I always have. Its not me trying too hard, I’m a hat lady. I’m the girl who showed up to school in 5th grade wearing a beret because I thought they were the most fantastic hat ever made. (And NO ONE wore berets back then.). At some point I got hat-conscious and stopped wearing them for years, even when I moved to a snowy climate I felt like a fraud walking around wearing a beanie. Isn’t that silly? I am also a petite girl, who loves a good classic high waisted wide leg pant. They make me feel feminine and womanly, not an easy task when you’re 4’11” and have no chest. They remind me of these beautiful culottes my mom used to wear with riding boots in the 70’s. Those were truly fantastic, and I always wanted to wear pants like that when I grew up. So I do. And they make me feel great.
I don’t quite remember when it happened, but at some point I became self-conscious about what I wore. I could never find clothes that felt my age (whether I was a teenager or in my 20’s) and that also fit my super petite frame. Forget about things I liked, just finding anything that fit was a huge feat. And I always felt conspicuous in my clothes, like I was trying too hard look my age, to look taller, to look cute, or stylish etc. I suppose I was worried I looked like I was “trying too hard,” especially since getting dressed and finding anything that worked for me was never easy. At some point I just told myself I was a t-shirt and jeans girl and that I would never really have style. But, it wasn’t really true.
Do you want to know the #1 message I get from other petite ladies?
It’s usually some variation of: “I never thought I could have style because I’m so short until I started following you.”
Isn’t that sad?! That’s exactly the way I used to feel.
And I was thinking the other day, that these women feel comfortable sharing this with me, because I am short like them. Because I can understand what that means, the frustration and discouragement trying to find something, anything that fits. The conspicuousness that comes with always feeling diminutive and looking like a 10 year old when you’re in college, or a teen when you’re a mom with 4 kids.
I’m so grateful that they share these thoughts with me. But it makes me wonder, how many other women feel this way because of whatever other reason; they’re a new mom, or a grandma, or curvy or tall, have a large chest, or acne, or {enter whatever your particular situation is}. These ideas that tell us we “can’t be stylish” or confident or true to ourselves because of the body we’ve been given. That we need to make ourselves smaller, not look like we’re trying “too hard.” It isn’t true. And I just want to pop in here and remind you of that today. You can be stylish, you can feel confident right now, just as you are, with all your beautiful uniqueness, and the things you might perceive to be imperfections. You don’t have to make yourself small and invisible.
Most of all, never let anyone tell you that you look like you’re trying too hard. There’s no such thing.
And the next time you see something and it just speaks to you, before you talk yourself out of it, give it a try! You can pull that off.
Yes you can.
**A few tips when it comes to making styles work for you: fit and balance are way more important than what the style is. It’s about balancing the proportions (for example: I paired these wide-leg pants with a fitted top, and it keeps me from looking like I’m drowning in my clothes. Balanced proportions), and making sure that the clothes you wear fit or at least look like they fit. Hem pants that need to be hemmed, roll and tuck if you need, throw a belt around it, so you don’t look like you’re swimming in your clothes. (I use every petite hack in my arsenal to get regular sized pieces to look like they fit me).
I love your style. I’m 5’1”and people looove to comment on how short I am. I read things about what I shouldn’t wear and what I should wear. They can be helpful, but I wear what I want and what I’m most comfortable in. I adore wide leg pants and jeans. I also love maxi dresses. People sitting behind the safety of their screens do not think twice about how little comments like that can affect someone and others of us that look like you. Those people that make those sorts of comments are normally people who feel awful about themselves already.
Yes, I love it ALL! I am a hat girl too and we have a very similar shape so your blog is really special to me. I used to get comments about my lack of chest in high school and I never felt feminine. It may have taken 35 years but I feel better than I ever have. I seem to get the most comments regarding cutting all my really long hair into a pixie but I love it!! Reading blog posts such as this is really cathartic. I remind myself often that what other people think of me has everything to do with them and nothing to do with me.
You look like a million bucks! I love that you wear what you love. Good for you for having the confidence and life experience to let those silly comments roll off your back.
I totally know how you feel. I’m petite and large chested, so fitted clothes can sometimes feel inappropriate (especially since I work with teenagers) but looser-fit clothes could feel boxy and like a tenant. Then I learned the front tuck from bloggers like you! Game changer!
I love this because I have my own style and like to wear what I love instead of what everyone else is wearing.
I once got a comment from my friend that if she wore my shoes, she’d look like a wannabe but I actually look cute. I thought that was sad.
I’ll pass on this comment heard from my friend who is very tall “Don’t tell a tall person they are tall since you might just really shock them” People feel the need to mention the obvious, but don’t let it get to you.
Ugh, people! If you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything! My youngest and last child home looks good in hats; everything from baseball caps to a fun brown wool Pendleton men’s hat. I love to see her do her own style, no matter what others say!
I have had some similar feedback on my favourite pair of wide leg pants! Just like those pants make you feel amazing, mine do too, so I’m so glad you don’t care what people think. You are rocking this look too well! I love how you say that you can wear whatever you want because I don’t really fit in a “normal” size range either. I’m tall and have super thick thighs and legs – makes you feel pretty shitty when it seems to be the only thing people look at!
BTW love the hat!
xx Victoria
http://www.strungingold.com
I’m 53. Mother of two. I follow you for fashion advice and am self conscious at times I am too old to follow you?
I love everything you wear. I’m glad you are confident in all you do. Please don’t listen to the negative. I’m so glad in the days we are living we still have women who take pride in dressing their kids and their selves and have fun and are always looking for a great price.
It doesn’t have to be about keeping up with anyone else.
It just can be about helping each other out and being kind.
I love your style!! I’m 5’2, and a teacher…so many kids are taller than me! So I try to dress in a manner that calls for respect ( not casual or sloppy), and I use my “authority “ voice. I love your hat, love those pants, forget the negative Nellies, they are just jealous of your ability to pull off a look they aren’t willing to try!
The whole point of fashion is to have fun and show your personality! Don’t listen to people who want to impose their insecurities on you. I am 59 and still follow fashion blogs of all ages and dress in what makes me feel . Keep up showing your style to the world, you are adorable!
You go girl! I love your confidence.
Perfect post! Thank you for sharing. I love your style! You always look fantastic and it looks so natural. Like a beauty from within that shows on the outside too.
Thank you for your blog! As a fellow petite person you have wonderful style. I follow a variety of fashion blogs to get ideas for myself. I do not copy people. I follow to get ideas and inspiration for myself. I always need to incorporate me. I love that about your blog. You always dress you and your personality. If others do not like it then do not comment or follow. Constructive criticism does not involve hurtful comments. Do not let others keep you from expressing yourself!
First of all you look great in that outfit! You are rocking those pants and I totally agree with you that it’s all about proportion. I have the opposite “issue”—I am tall and was always the tall gangly girl (with glasses before they were stylish) in the back row of class photos. Of course I am older now but hurtful comments still do hurt. My mother always told me the people making the comments were just jealous. I wanted to thank you for your positive and encouraging remarks as we probably all need the encouragement!
Love this post! I am 4’10” and petite. Formany years I wished to be someone I am clearly not! Thanks for helping me find fashion to meet me right where I am!
I think you look lovely! The only rule in fashion is that there are not rules! And if there are then let’s break them! I’m 54 and I wear what I want to wear. If it makes me feel beautiful them I’m rocking it with my own style! I leave you with this, be brave, be bold, be beautiful, most of all be you!!!