our laundry system, and how it teaches my kids accountability.

I shared all about our laundry system and how it teaches my kids accountability over on my instastories a couple weeks ago, and I had a bunch of people request for me to write a post about it so they could have it saved.  So here we go!

Several years ago I wrote a post about our laundry system.  At the time, I would have everyone bring their laundry down every night, we sorted it, and then each day I would do one to two loads, they’d get folded and put away.  The kids helped with sorting and folding and putting away their clothes.  At the time, Ava was a baby and all my big kids were still quite little.  That system worked really well until in the last year or so when all my older kids suddenly got much, much bigger, and then it didn’t work at all.

Suddenly we had the equivalent of five adults and one child’s worth of laundry and the laundry room was always over-flowing with dirty clothes.  I decided we needed to switch up our laundry system.  So I thought about it long and hard and here’s what I came up with.  (It works insanely well even with a family of six who often have dirty farm clothes, we no longer have a big laundry mess in our laundry room, and the kids bedrooms have stayed tidier as well.)

Our laundry system is really simple but it works really well:

Each kid is assigned a day of the week.  This is their day to get their laundry done.  The laundry room is at their disposal and no one else (even mom) is allowed to use it that day.  Dirty laundry is kept in their room in a hamper until their laundry day.  They are responsible to sort, wash, dry, fold and put away their laundry all on their own.  (Except for Ava, who’s too young at 6 to do it all on her own so she sorts, folds and puts her laundry away.)  If they miss their day, or forget to do their laundry, they either have to wait a full week to wash their clothes, or they have to make a deal with whichever one of their sibling who’s day it is and either pay them or do them a favor, in exchange for getting to use the laundry room that day or put their clothes in together.  I also don’t micro-manage how they get it done.  For the most part I don’t remind them, and if they need to work out a deal with their sibling I let them figure it out on their own.  This sounds tough, but it works and I’ll explain why we do this in just a minute.

Here’s how the week breaks down:

Mondays are Ethan’s day, Hannah has Tuesday, I have Wednesday (I do mine and Ava’s laundry, and often Craig’s too), Carter has Thursday, Friday’s are for Craig if he does his own laundry that week, and  Saturdays are for towels, sheets and bed linens.

Before we started this system, I made sure that all my kids knew how to use the washing machine and dryer, and how to properly wash and care for their clothes.  They all know how to wash delicates, which of their items need to be hung to dry (not many, I don’t typically buy those kinds of clothes for kids), how to sort and choose a temperature.  They also know how to remove stains, use the wool dryer balls, how to iron their own clothes, and clean out the dryer vent.  I am also always available to help them or answer any questions if they get into a laundry issue that they don’t know how to fix.  But they are responsible to do it on their own.

How my kids get it done, even when they are in school:  

The question I got asked the most was how my kids have the time to get all their laundry done even when they are in school all day.  Most of my kids opt to start a load before they leave for school, but even if they don’t, because they usually only need to wash 2 loads it’s not hard to get it all done in the hours after they get home as long as they manage their time well.

How this has/is teaching them accountability.

I’ve always intuitively felt that my job as a mother is not just to love my kids and teach them good principles but also to prepare them to be good responsible adults who are kind and considerate.  Part of that process is learning accountability.

We all have to be accountable.  There are natural and human laws that hold us accountable, whether we like it or not.  We have to be accountable to the government, our jobs, our finances, God.  This is a universal truth and I feel that it’s really important for kids to learn this at a young age on something where the stakes are low, like having to wear dirty clothes for a week.  By not swooping in a fixing it for them every time they make a mistake we help our children develop accountability, and take responsibility and ownership over their actions.  Rather than always rushing in and making exceptions for them, if I hold them accountable to our system, if they have to figure out how to deal with the consequences of forgetting to do their laundry, then I am giving them the opportunity to learn to put first things first, be responsible and prioritize.

This is not always easy to do, because it involves letting your children feel the pain (whether physical, or mental) of not being responsible, making bad choices or not managing their time wisely.  But in parenting and in life, the path of least resistance leads up the steepest hill.  If you fail to let your kids learn to be accountable by allowing them to experience the natural consequences associated with bad or irresponsible behavior, they are more likely to grow up with a feeling of entitlement, and without the ability to accept responsibility for their actions and mistakes without making excuses or blaming others.

Children who learn to be accountable are generally more well adjusted, considerate and outward thinking adults.

It also helps them understand how our actions affect other people.  By having them work a deal out to do their laundry if they miss a day, they become more aware of how their actions can impact the lives of those around them.

By expecting them to get their laundry done around their school schedule they are also learning time management and how to get the things they need to done around the times and places they need to be.

They are also learning independence, and how to self motivate.

I really could go on and on about the benefits of this approach to parenting, but I will just leave it at that today.  Hopefully I gave you all a thorough enough understanding of what and how our laundry system works.  If you have any questions, feel free to ask in the comments and I will make sure to respond!

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