Hey Everyone! I’m back for a moment to let you know that I am in fact still pregnant (boo.) and more disappointingly only more swollen than I was two days ago. Also, it looks as though I’m now on the path to preeclampsia. Pretty please say a little prayer that this miss decides to make an appearance in the next couple days. Until then, I’m leaving you in the rather capable and hilarious hands of miss Bonnie. She’s going to break down how to look hot. And let me just say, she provided me with a much needed laugh. Plus, Voldemort. I die. Just please read on. I was cracking up the whole time I read this.
It’s all yours Bon.
Why hello there.
The name is Bonnie Blackburn Larsen and writing nonsense is my game. Sometimes I get in trouble for what I write, but that’s just the way the cookie crumbles. The husband’s name is Greg and I’ve been told I would be a fool for letting the internet Gods know my husband’s name because now they can steal our identities and invade our home, GASP! Therefore, to protect us from cyber devils and because it seems somehow hip I have named him Hubs. I pride myself on originality.
This is me in my very sexiest form. I look like this about 0.0021% of my life. Maybe less.
This is me in my ugliest form- dressed up as Voldemort for midnight Harry Potter premieres.
I just felt like from the get go you needed to know me in my best and worst forms. Just know that usually I am somewhere in the middle of those two extremities, but creeping over more into the Voldemort side, no doubt.
If you are still interested in me, (oh this sounds so romantic!) you have a couple of options from here.
Option #1: I’ve noticed Cori is quite the fashion blogger. She struts her stuff, preggers or not, and she looks good too! Well, heck, I can be a fashion blogger too! Keep reading where I will show you how to look hot in any situation. Trust me, you’re going to want to read up.
Option #2: Visit my blog where you may read all my rambling to your heart’s content. You might wanna check out this post which will give you a very personal, loving tour of the blog and a guide to the greatest posts- the romantic ones about my Hub-a-dubs, the ones about teaching high school to bratty teenagers, and even the scandalous ones.
Option #3: While at my blog, enter Monday’s giveaway- the absolutely biggest giveaway I have ever done in the blog’s history!
Option #4: All of the above
(Pick #4! Pick #4)
Let’s dive right in, shall we?
HOW TO LOOK HOT NO MATTER WHAT YOU’RE DOING
BY BONNIE BLACKBURN LARSEN
In the above picture I am playing tennis with Hubs. My outfit is very stylin as you can tell.
I feel bad for anybody who doesn’t look one hundred percent rocking 24/7. I have the whole fashion thing down pat so I figured it’s time to share my knowledge with the blogging world. You all are clearly in need of an expert. La Vie Petite, watch out, I’m taking over your reign as cutest fashion blogger ever!
To copy my above outfit you will need the following:
1. A pair of ambiguous pants. Are they long pants? No… not quite. Shorts? No, not that either. Capris? Too baggy for that. WHAT IN SAM’S HILL ARE THEY? Guess we’ll never know which makes them that much cuter! Remember, the more confused people are by your look, the cuter it is!
(Answer: They are Hubs’ shorts. And if you think it’s pretty messed up that I have the same size of waist as Hubs, you are not alone.)
2. A big, brown, bulky belt. None of these cute, skinny belts. No cool colors like blue or orange- you will need just a big brown clunker. This makes your waist look bigger than normal, which as we all know, is the perfect complement to any look.
3. A shirt that is too tight for you. Although you can’t see it in this picture, a tight grey T-shirt is the best thing to wear when participating in any physical activity. It allows for maximum under arm sweat stains that everyone can see when you raise your arms. Tacos=the new trend in fashion. Try to keep up, will you?
4. Neon shoelaces. The whole outfit should be a very blah, somber color EXCEPT the shoelaces. Look for a gray or black outfit and then add a bit of neon to really confuse everybody who looks at you. In my case, I chose neon pink. Neon green and neon blue are also great. If you’re really daring you can try polka dotted or striped shoelaces to really set you apart from the crowd.
5. Don’t forget the hair barrette clipped to your pocket and the alien looking sunglasses. These accessories really complete the outfit. Remember, confusion=cuteness.
There you have it, folks! How to look like a million bucks no matter what you are up to. I’m full of stylish advice and wisdom so make sure to visit my blog often to see all my super cute looks! Next week I might even show you the sweats, flip flops, and bandana that I wear when I wash my car. Spicy!
Hi Cori, I work in Labor and Delivery here in Canada. Because you are term and it’s your 4th baby, hopefully all they will need to do is induce you and deliver this baby. If things continue to worsen they will have to put you on a medication called Magnesium Sulphate. You are in very good hands and even if you develop Preeclampsia you will be fine. Good luck and I hope that your little “miss” will arrive shortly.
Agi:)
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Cori,
I am praying for you! I had preeclampsia with my daughter two years ago (first pregnancy) and, while it was scary, the Lord took care of me. I became swollen, had protein in my urine, my blood pressure climbed to 200/100 while in labor, and I had to be put on Magnesium. I was induced at 39 weeks and delivered a very healthy, albeit tiny girl, 13.5 hours later. Now I am 37 weeks pregnant with my second daughter and don’t have any symptoms of preeclampsia–I pray it stays that way! Many prayers coming your way!
I love Bonnie! Great guest post. Cori – I just found your blog you have a beautiful family, best wishes!