Ten years ago today, we made our relationship legit, bound ourselves to each other, and started our little family. We were such babies back then I can’t even believe it. I know every body says this, but holy cow that went by fast. I tell you what, if you want time to fly, have kids, because the world starts to speed up and suddenly you’re ten years into your marriage. I’ve been thinking all morning about how much has changed in the last ten years since I became a wife. When we got married there was no such thing as texting, nobody had even heard of an ipod, let alone an iphone, a good deal of the bloggers I read were still in middle school, and as you can see from our 35mm film wedding pictures, digital cameras weren’t really a thing yet.
I don’t think I’m an expert, but I do have a happy healthy marriage, and I’m very proud of that.
So here are 10 little bits of wisdom I’ve learned in the last decade.
1.Before you get married, choose wisely. Make sure you have the same goals, the same ideals and that he is really really nice to you. Nothing kills love faster than meanness.
2.Don’t forget who you really are. Sometimes after a major life change or role change you can lose yourself a little, but you’re still you.
3. Don’t be afraid to change, and have a little fun. It’s okay to keep growing up, for your interests to change, to try new things and evolve as a person. It keeps you interesting.
4. You don’t have to say every little thought that’s in your head (even if you really think you do), there’s a lot of wisdom in sometimes just keeping your mouth shut.
5. Get jiggy with it, often. It’s good for both of you, and really good for your relationship. Plus, if you let yourself it’s just a whole lot of fun.
6.Never talk bad about your spouse to anyone, even your girlfriends, and especially not your mother. Forget how they will feel about him after, when you vocalize negativity it only compounds it. I know you think you need to blow off steam, but really you’re just revving the engine.
7. Buy his chairs, let him buy yours. Everyone has something they need to throw themselves into; something that they are passionate about, make those things your priority too. He loves the outdoors, skiing, and business. I do those things with him, happily. I love designing clothes, he takes my pictures and helps me run my clothing line. Figure out what their chair is and buy it.
8. Take care of yourself. Stay in shape, make an effort with your appearance. You owe it to yourself and your spouse. I expect Mr. to take care of himself, and I still want him to find me attractive. No one says, “when I grow up I want to be married to a slob.” You were cute when you were dating and he fell in love with you. Trust me, he’ll still love you when you look like hell right after you have a baby, or when you get the flu, but there’s no point looking like that every other day. You’ll feel better, and he’ll still think you’re a hotty.
9. Don’t be a martyr. If you want something, ask for it. Men aren’t mind readers.
10. Marriage is hard because life is hard, be patient, you’re not perfect, neither is he. So be nice, put the instagram away when you’re talking and always have each other’s back.
