Jeans: Hudson.(petite version here.) Top: JCrew Factory(similar). Sweater: Target. Booties: Target(similar.). Hat: Target. Vest: Old Navy. Coat: Old Navy(similar). Bag: Ivanka Trump(similar). Necklace: J Crew.(similar.)
Do you guys remember those Suave “invisible mom“ commercials from like 8 years ago, (just stay with me on this one, I promise there’s a point.) For some reason yesterday, I randomly remembered them and how when they came out I was a new-ish mom with just two little babies at home, and while I thought they were clever, I didn’t quite get them at that point. I mean, I got them. But it wasn’t until a few years later, when I had another baby and my husband was working his way through Grad school with a demanding full time job, and I lived in a state a thousand miles away from my closest blood relation and knew almost no one, that I really got them. Being a mom is simultaneously the hardest, most wonderful, enlightening, terrifying, stressful, joyful thing I have ever done. Some days I wake up wracked with anxiety, because oh my gosh there are four little people I’m trying to mold into decent, kind, good human beings, while letting them become themselves, and also trying to keep them from fighting or doing something inappropriate in public, (like maybe ahem, pulling down their pants and taking a leak at the park, because that’s what they did when we went camping…) It reminds me daily, almost hourly of my short-comings, makes me more keenly aware of my own inadequacies, and is a constant test on my ability to handle stress. And for many years, it felt a little like a thankless job.
Young moms work so hard. (btw-I’m referring moms of young children) Being a young mom is so physical. Honestly, I don’t know how I did it when I had 3 babies 3 and under. And so many days I felt like I worked and wiped and picked up, and changed and rocked and read and played and lifted all day long and no one saw it. At least not anyone that noticed. My babies were little back then, they didn’t know how to notice, and I was okay with that. Now my kids say things to me like, “you are the best mom ever!” for making them chocolate chip cookies on a school night, and guys I am clearly not the best mom ever. It still makes me feel amazing when it happens, but way back when none of them knew what I was doing for them day in and day out, I kind of lost myself in the work of it a little. And I get that there are seasons, but I appreciate any idea that involves any mom, or woman at any stage of life reinvesting in herself, in a way that makes her better, stronger, healthier, happier and more confident. If there is one think I’ve learned in the last 9 1/2 years of parenting (I’ve actually learned a lot more than 1) it’s that you don’t do your children, your husband or the world any favors by getting lost in the job of being a mother. And I know how easy it is to let that happen. Babies and children in general are a lot louder and more demanding than those subtle whispers that tell you how nice it would be to read a book, or put on some lipstick, or create. But those are the very things that make you a better, more engaged human being, and mother. When I finally figured this out for myself, I started seeing how much beauty there really is in wiping noses and bums and picking up toys for the millionth time, and making just one more pot of macaroni. Understanding that beauty, and where it originated gave me the passion and the drive to pursue other things. Things fed by my innate desire to create. The same desire that made me yearn to be a mother so badly I could taste it. And I realized that as a woman those parts of me are so interconnected they’re almost indistinguishable. The mother inside of me is part of everything I am and everything I do. It’s all one big beautiful creative process. And while it’s sometimes counter-intuitive to focus inward, to sharpen your personal saw, it often leads to the very best for everyone.
Also, I am looking down in every single one of these pictures, and I have no idea why. I must be really captivated by snow.
And please do yourself a favor and go watch these Sienna Family commercials (which I also remembered about yesterday.) I laughed so hard I cried.
