Top. Pants. Boots. Hat. Necklace.
In the last couple weeks I’ve received negative comments about 2 pieces I’m wearing in this outfit. One person told me I looked like I was “trying too hard” wearing this hat (okay?), and another told me I am “too short to pull off these pants.” I’m glad it’s 2019. In 2012 or even 2013 those comments would have wrecked me a little bit. They would have made me feel stupid or self-conscious, but I’m really glad that I’ve gotten to a place where this kind of feedback just doesn’t have an effect on me. And also, I’m old enough to know what I like, to know my own style, and I’m confident enough to wear it even if nobody else gets or likes it. The truth is, I love wearing hats. I always have. Its not me trying too hard, I’m a hat lady. I’m the girl who showed up to school in 5th grade wearing a beret because I thought they were the most fantastic hat ever made. (And NO ONE wore berets back then.). At some point I got hat-conscious and stopped wearing them for years, even when I moved to a snowy climate I felt like a fraud walking around wearing a beanie. Isn’t that silly? I am also a petite girl, who loves a good classic high waisted wide leg pant. They make me feel feminine and womanly, not an easy task when you’re 4’11” and have no chest. They remind me of these beautiful culottes my mom used to wear with riding boots in the 70’s. Those were truly fantastic, and I always wanted to wear pants like that when I grew up. So I do. And they make me feel great.
I don’t quite remember when it happened, but at some point I became self-conscious about what I wore. I could never find clothes that felt my age (whether I was a teenager or in my 20’s) and that also fit my super petite frame. Forget about things I liked, just finding anything that fit was a huge feat. And I always felt conspicuous in my clothes, like I was trying too hard look my age, to look taller, to look cute, or stylish etc. I suppose I was worried I looked like I was “trying too hard,” especially since getting dressed and finding anything that worked for me was never easy. At some point I just told myself I was a t-shirt and jeans girl and that I would never really have style. But, it wasn’t really true.
Do you want to know the #1 message I get from other petite ladies?
It’s usually some variation of: “I never thought I could have style because I’m so short until I started following you.”
Isn’t that sad?! That’s exactly the way I used to feel.
And I was thinking the other day, that these women feel comfortable sharing this with me, because I am short like them. Because I can understand what that means, the frustration and discouragement trying to find something, anything that fits. The conspicuousness that comes with always feeling diminutive and looking like a 10 year old when you’re in college, or a teen when you’re a mom with 4 kids.
I’m so grateful that they share these thoughts with me. But it makes me wonder, how many other women feel this way because of whatever other reason; they’re a new mom, or a grandma, or curvy or tall, have a large chest, or acne, or {enter whatever your particular situation is}. These ideas that tell us we “can’t be stylish” or confident or true to ourselves because of the body we’ve been given. That we need to make ourselves smaller, not look like we’re trying “too hard.” It isn’t true. And I just want to pop in here and remind you of that today. You can be stylish, you can feel confident right now, just as you are, with all your beautiful uniqueness, and the things you might perceive to be imperfections. You don’t have to make yourself small and invisible.
Most of all, never let anyone tell you that you look like you’re trying too hard. There’s no such thing.
And the next time you see something and it just speaks to you, before you talk yourself out of it, give it a try! You can pull that off.
Yes you can.
**A few tips when it comes to making styles work for you: fit and balance are way more important than what the style is. It’s about balancing the proportions (for example: I paired these wide-leg pants with a fitted top, and it keeps me from looking like I’m drowning in my clothes. Balanced proportions), and making sure that the clothes you wear fit or at least look like they fit. Hem pants that need to be hemmed, roll and tuck if you need, throw a belt around it, so you don’t look like you’re swimming in your clothes. (I use every petite hack in my arsenal to get regular sized pieces to look like they fit me).
