There has been a very distinguishable fallness in the air the last few days. It has been cooler, not cold, but cooler and it’s hinting that summer is, in fact over. I can’t say that I mind. On any normal year I am excited for fall to start. Fall is my time, October is my month. I thrive among sweater weather, and hot cocoa and houses that smell like pumpkin everything. If I could live in October all year, well I might just say yes to that. This hasn’t been a normal year, though, and in truth I want what’s been the most hellish summer to be over. Yesterday, the funeral home finally emailed me the proof to Ruby’s headstone. They want me to look it over and approve it before they start carving her name in stone. The thing is, I thought I would be ready for that, I really did. I already knew what it would look like, we designed it after all, but when it showed up in my inbox my heart dropped and I cried for a good two hours. I feel like I’ve been lost a little lately in all the bad that has happened. I can usually find meaning in the hard things, but lately they just feel like a very crushing weight that I don’t really understand, and I have to hope, that as the air turns crisp and the leaves change I’ll find some clarity, and perhaps even a little peace. So there it is.
Here’s to fall. May it bring a little wonderful with it.
