Sweater: Madewell. (on sale) Top: JCrew Factory. (also similar here.) Pants: Gap. (on sale.) Shoes: Converse. Trench: Old Navy. (old. similar here.) Sunglasses: H&M. (similar here.)
I have to say, then end of the Super Bowl was rather a disappointment. That throw! It was so, just not the right call. But, c’est la vie, I guess. I try not to get too upset about things I have absolutely no control over, and football is one of them.
I thought the commercials were a little lack-luster this year, which was kind of a disappointment, with the exception of the #likeagirl one. It really got me thinking. I mean, it was moving to be sure, I teared up at one point and then watched the whole thing later on and got even more emotional.
It also made me, think, which I’m sure was their intention, and I’m glad. But probably not just in the way they wanted me to think. You know, I’m a mother–a mother to girls–so this particular idea of reinforcing a girl’s self-worth, especially at that critical age (which my Hannah is rapidly approaching) is truly important to me. But I’m also a mother of boys, and while we don’t seem to focus on it all that much I think that the self-worth of boys is under attack as well. I don’t take for granted that the self-worth of my boys will just happen naturally by virtue of them simply being part of the male gender. Even if the world has been historically friendlier to men, I see gender bias on both sides of the track. I don’t want my girls to grow up feeling weak or lesser, but I don’t want my boys growing up feeling like they are the enemy either.
I don’t think that it has to be that way. I know that historically, women have been repressed, that it still happens in many places. I know first hand that women don’t always make as much as men for doing the exact same job, and I’ve seen how the world has turned all the things I cherish about the male gender, the things I love most about my husband and my boys, their very nature into the enemy. Degraded men into single minded, sexist oafs. I don’t think that’s really fair either, and I’m sure I’m opening pandora’s box by saying it. But I do truly see examples of mutual respect for both genders everywhere I look. Most of the men I’ve been blessed to know are wonderful. My husband and boys are good, and smart and kind and strong and fair. My husband treats me as an equal partner, and even though our roles are different, I’ve never felt lesser. I can see the confidence that gives all of my children in themselves and who they are, and what they can be. And that gives me hope for the future, and for now really.
I want my girls to grow up believing in themselves, believing that they are strong, that they can do anything, and I want my boys to feel the same way. Acknowledging women’s strength doesn’t have to mean degrading a man’s.
I think–no, I know that’s one of the reason’s that my marriage is successful; we believe in each other’s strengths. We’re not at odds with each other. It’s a partnership. He doesn’t think I’m a “silly girl,” I don’t think he’s a “dumb guy.” It’s why Craig has succeeded in school (even with all of us in tow), had the guts to pursue bigger things in his career, become an amazing father. It’s why I’ve had the confidence to pursue not just motherhood (uniquely feminine) but also becoming a business woman as well (and for the record, they both equally thrill and terrify me.) I hope Hannah and Ava do big things with their life as they grow older. I hope they use the talents I already see in them to make plans, plans that will make them happy, that will contribute to the world, that they will have the confidence to pursue because they understand their own self-worth–their own strength, and I want just the same for Carter and Ethan. I want them all to feel safe being just as fantastic and strong as they are.
That’s what went through my mind all evening last night, and I felt a renewed sense of purpose as a wife and a mother, to show all my children, and my husband just how strong I can be by living my life with confidence, and doing my very best, just #likeagirl.
“And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we’re liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.“
– Marriane Williamson
So how did the #likeagirl campaign affect you?
Well said!
The girls (ages 3-4) at our super bowl party responded by showing us how fast they can run. And it is that confidence that I hope they always have.
that is so cute! Love it.
Adorable outfit! Love the sweater
http://www.girlandthepolkadot.com/
Cute! Love your sweater:P
Shall We Sasa
Very cool monochrome sweater Corilynn! It looks perfect with your red trench coat!
♥♥♥
Jeanne
http://fashionmusingsdiary.com
That commercial definitely moved me too. I do agree that sometimes girls are treated differently than boys. I did like how the end they ask the little girl on what they think ‘run like a girl’ means and she responded ‘run as fast you can’. It just shows how much society perceives each gender affects us as we grow. I like how she took that phrase like how it should be. I definitely think that it may cause us to think boys are enemy, They should have ended a similar way with a little boy. Have a great day :)
http://www.rdsobsessions.com
Hi Cori,
I love your blog, and your style, and I’ve always admired the thoughtfulness and courageousness of your writing.
I’m glad that the #likeagirl commercial was thought-provoking, and motivated you to share your thoughts and initiate this discussion, but at its core it’s just one company’s PR campaign, and as such is in no way equipped to deal with the broad, complex issues of gender equality.
As you correctly pointed out, women have historically been–and continue to be–subjected to various forms of repression based on their gender. You’ve probably heard feminists attribute this, broadly, to “the patriarchy” — which refers to systems that largely put political, economic, and social power in the hands of men. This is not to say that all individual men, or maleness itself, are the enemy agents of repression, but rather part of social structures that grant them certain privileges that women are denied.
At the same time, the patriarchy hurts men, and the self-worth of men and boys. It tells them that they are weak if they cry or show emotion or fear, and failures if they are not earners or winners. It tells both boys and girls that acting “like a girl” means being inferior and worthy of humiliation. And it’s this — not “femininity” or “male strength” — that feminists condemn. That’s why we advocate for policies like paid parental leave for both men and women, because we believe that fathers as well as mothers have the right to care for their children without penalty or disdain, that a woman isn’t less of a woman or mother if she has a career or interests beyond her children, and that a man isn’t less of a man if he earns less than his wife or assumes the role of primary or equal caregiver for his children.
Thank you so much for this comment! I agree that the commercial was just a pr campaign and while I appreciate that it’s much more thoughtful than say Carl’s Jr.’s choice of ads, I also realize that it’s not equipped to deal with gender issues as a whole. I loved what you said about men not being able to show emotion or fear, without being told they are weak, that’s so true. And I agree that there should be paid parental leave for both men and women.
Thank you so much for reading and responding!
And thanks again for always bravely and honestly sharing your reflections on topics that are challenging, controversial, or sometimes painful.
I’m so glad to see this comment. I was coming here to express similar thoughts, but you did it much more eloquently than I could have. Feminism isn’t about women vs. men. It’s women AND men, each with individual strengths and weaknesses, working together to change things for the better. The status quo is harmful to both sexes.
I love this! It is men AND women! That’s exactly what I was feeling, and it’s not so much that the commercial was anti-male because I don’t think it was, but it definitely made me think about how combative the gender issues can get and I think it’s a shame because I don’t feel at odds with my husband (or sons– except when they won’t pick up their legos, haha) and I think we could all support and celebrate each other better. thanks so much for your comment!
i love that commercial. i’ve seen it before – they first showed it on tv a few months ago, but then i can’t remember seeing it for awhile until last night (i don’t watch a ton of tv so it could’ve been on and i just never saw it for awhile, who knows). i got emotional the first time i saw it and i got emotional again last night. love your post. perfectly said :)
You expressed this issue so well! Totally agree.
Great comments! I too don’t want my son to feel like the enemy! I definitely want both my son and daughter to know that they are different but equal, and I loved your comments about the men in your life being really great! I have a great husband too, and know so many really amazing husbands of friends, that really give guys a great name!