(A shot from our time in Switzerland last summer.)
Of all the parenting topics I get asked about, the one that seems to intrigue people the most is my approach to social media with my kids. It might have something to do with the fact that I am a blogger, who runs a significant amount of my business through social media, and yet, none of my kids, even my teenagers, have social media accounts. That’s right, my kids don’t have social media. No facebook, no twitter, and yep, you guessed it, no instagram. In fact, they don’t even have cell phones.
This is a novel, almost shocking revelation to most people, nowadays, but I have always been confident that this was the right decision for my family and our children. And because it’s something I get asked about, the why and the how, so often, I thought I would just sit down and share with you all today, why my kids don’t have social media.
Grab a cup of cocoa and get comfortable.
First and foremost, I want to say, that this is MY approach to parenting, and these are MY reasons for not letting my kids have social media. I would never push my approach on anyone else or suggest that this is the only “right way” to raise children. I do my very best not to judge how other people choose to parent.
I believe that the choices you make when parenting your children should be dictated by two things, the results you want to see, and the principles you want them to grow up with. I want my kids to grow up to be healthy, independent, well-adjusted adults, who have a strong sense of self, who know their own mind, who are kind, loving, good responsible human beings, in their own unique individual ways. I want them to work hard and do their best, I want them to have compassion, deep personal beliefs and a strong testimony of the Gospel, our Savior Jesus Christ, and Heavenly Father. I want them to think for themselves, and be brave enough to do the right thing, even if everyone else isn’t.
These are my dreams for my children, these are my desired results. This desire dictates how I’ve chosen to rear them, and because I am a tenacious person (especially when it comes to sticking to my principles) I’ve been mostly successful at sticking to these principles no matter how much my kids have whined or begging me to let them do what “everybody else’s mom” is letting them do.
I call this idea, parenting with intention. It’s just like any other intentional approach to life. You decide what you want and where you are trying get, what you want to achieve, and that dictates your behavior. Not the way you feel on a stressed day, not what everyone else is doing, and not society. Every parenting decision my husband and I make is guided by what we want to help our children develop into (the very best versions of themselves) and if there is something that won’t serve them, or that goal, then we don’t do it. When you break it down in this way, parenting decisions that once might have seemed complicated, become rather simple.
So without further ado, my reasons why my kids don’t have social media.
It doesn’t serve them. I have thought long and hard about our approach to social media with our kids, and what it came down to was this. It doesn’t serve them. There are so many downsides to social media (especially as it relates to children and teens, more about that in a minute) and I feel that the “upsides” don’t really apply to kids anyway. Or saying that it would benefit them in a bit of a stretch. If I’m being 100% honest with myself, and not trying to convince myself that there are some good things that could come out of my kids having social media, I realize that there aren’t really actually any benefits for them at this stage in life, but there are far more ways it can harm them, their brains, and their self-esteem. It doesn’t serve them.
Excessive screen time is bad for kids, for a number of reasons. There are so many studies that have come out in the last 5 years or so, detailing just how bad excessive screen time is for children and teens in terms of their brain development, behavior, emotion and social development, etc etc. For example: The light emitted from screens interferes with the sleep cycle in the brain and can lead to insomnia. In regards to behavior problems: Elementary school-age children who use screens more than two hours per day are more likely to have emotional, social, and attention problems. Too much screen time can also cause problems in learning and development as well. Studies show that excessive screen time is linked to delays in cognitive, language, social and emotional skills in children. Screen time can also be a predictor of poor functioning and self-control in children. Do I even need to go on?
I want them to develop strong interpersonal communication skills. I have noticed an alarming trend in kids over the last several years. They don’t know how to talk to people. When you are so busy with your face in a phone, interacting mostly through text exchanges and emojis, how do you develop the ability communicate face to face with other people, both peers and superiors. My kids’ teachers and school counselors are always asking me how my kids are so well-spoken, how they’ve managed to transition smoothly into new schools each time we’ve moved. I know that in part they are this way because they have learned to interact with other people (even people they don’t know, scary!) in real life, and they don’t always have their face buried in a phone.
I want them to be keenly aware of the humanity of other people. We’ve all seen how absolutely how vile people can be to each other online. I’ve been in this business for eight years and even I am often surprised by the vitriol that people virally sling at each other. When did this happen, when people forgot to act with decency no matter where you are interacting? It is so easy to forget that the person on the other side of a screen is an actually human being with feelings. In a desire to connect with more people, we’ve lost some of our humanity. I always want my kids to be aware of other people, to treat them with decency and respect. It is so much easier to do that if you are interacting face to face with other people. If you are seeing the subtle nuances in their expressions, and understand that all people carry a least a little sadness and insecurity within them, you learn that all people need empathy and grace. This understanding is a gift I can give my children by letting them interact in real-time, face to face. This is also effective with teaching conflict resolution. We all need to learn to work things out with people we disagree with, and an online comment forum is not the place to learn this skill.
I don’t think kids are capable of regulating themselves properly with things like social media. Social media is designed to be addicting. It rewards addictive behavior. Even adults have trouble regulating themselves when it comes to this aspect of social media. How many times have you seen someone post something saying they “needed to take a break” that they were “getting addicted.” How can we expect children and teenagers to regulate themselves properly when it comes to a product that’s designed to hook you and hold on tight. I don’t want to create unhealthy patterns of behavior in my kids. Childhood is such a formative time in their life (especially in the teen years) and I want them to develop healthy, affective habits now, so that when they do have social media they are capable of regulating themselves in a way where engaging in social media won’t detract from their life or their goals. I try to model this with my own social media consumption. I talk to them a lot about how it’s a tool for me, and my business. I also set boundaries for myself, and when I am with my kids, I am generally not on my phone. I believe in parenting you have to be ‘do as I do,” if you try to be “do as I say not as I do” it will always fail.
I want them to learn that their value comes from within. The biggest problem I have with social media and kids is that it reinforces the idea that your worth depends on outside validation and the acceptance of others. Think about the model of social media. You put something out there and wait for the “likes” and “comments” to roll in and validate this work you’ve done, or this piece of yourself that you’ve shared. If you don’t get many likes or comments, that piece of content that part of you that you shared is considered a failure. This is incredibly deterimental to children’s self-esteem. Heck, I use social media almost exclusively for business purposes and try not to ever attach personal value to it, and yet even I will get discouraged when a picture underperforms. I want my kids to develop a strong sense of self, to know who they are, what they like, what they stand for and that their value is NOT determined by the number of likes you get on a picture. I feel that giving them the freedom from social media to learn that their value comes from within, as a child of God, and is not dependent on what ANYONE else thinks of them, is one of the greatest gifts I can give them, even if it’s not always a gift they want. This is the strongest reason behind the decision, and the one that helps me hold my ground.
As a final thought: I’ve heard all the arguments and all the concerns with not letting my kids have social media: Am I worried they’ll be left out, not get invited, be ostracized, not understand technology, branding, how the world works now, etc etc. In short, no. They are developing lots of technology skills without engaging in social media, Hannah can build a website on her own and both my boys are learning to code. They are learning about business and branding watching and helping us with our businesses. If they have friends who would ostracize them for not being on instagram, well they aren’t really friends at all. I feel that my kids are independent and self-assured enough to know that, which is why they’ve all sought out good, genuine friends. And to me, the benefits I have already seen of keeping them off social media exponentially outweigh any downsides.
Thank you so much for reading. I would love any discussion in the comments, and to know how you approach this in your own family!
Hi Cori-
Can you offer some advice on how you handle video gaming at your house? My son is almost 11 and I am really struggling with how all his friends are only interested in playing video games (especially fortnite, which is so addictive it’s almost frightening). They don’t want to come to our house because I strictly regulate and restrict gaming, but at his friend’s houses it seems unmonitored and he comes home a zombie. I don’t want him not to play with his friends, so I’m not sure what to do. Thanks in advance!
Right?! Video games are like crack for a kid’s brain. My boys bought their own system a few years ago and I let them play for one hour a week on Saturdays. #meanmom ;-). It’s so tricky! Have you spoken to the other mom? I know those conversations can be so awkward. But you could even just ask if when your son is there they not play fortnite? Or maybe just limit the time he’s there? Its so sad how video games have just destroyed kids’ creativity! It’s so bad for their brains! I’ve made them so unappealing my boys have kind of moved on and spend a lot more time outside creating. I also encourage them to find friends who have other interests besides video games. My boys have a good friend who’s always building things and has a 3D printer and they ended up spending their work money buying themselves a 3D printer in January. Now they spend their time dreaming up their next design and drafting it. it’s awesome!
Love the 3D printer idea! Thank you!!
Now I just need to get some other moms on board to help me get these kids to do other stuff. Seriously appreciate the advice.
Just came across this. It’s encouraging to see as I have 11 and 12 year old girls who do not have phones or media. The benefits are endless! It’s encouraging to know there is another parent out there that’s view on this subject is EXACTLY the same.
AMEN! I agree with you on every point. My daughter is only 2 1/2 but I’m already thinking ahead and want to make the same choices. She does watch TV shows but will not play on my iPad or phone, let alone have her own. I’ve been reading the book Simplicity Parenting and he cites a study that kids who don’t learn technology skills at a young age can catch up to their peers as teens in just a few weeks.
I have totally found this to be true! And bravo for planning now! It will help so much as she grows!
I agree too! Just finished reading “Simplicity Parenting”this morning. Such a valuable resource. My children have limited screen time and they are always creating things from random objects inside and outside the house. Thank you for the encouragement Cori!
Great read! I am following this same path, though my kids (5 and 8). I do have a 19 year old step son who got his phone at 12 and really he has turned out fantastic : )
Many parents I talk to end up getting their kids phones for safety (fear based) reasons – so they can always reach or track them. I live near Parkland, Fl and the school shooting really has had an impact on these decisions. Kids are getting phones as early as 3rd grade!
Another reason is because in middle school many teachers will have the students take pictures of vocab lists or assignments. So it become necessary for school! I really think this is out of line for many reasons and am considering other options for middle school for this reason.
I am totally with you on this one. There’s absolutely no need for children to be on social media. Sometimes I can’t even handle the craziness that comes with it.
Seriously! It’s like a study in mass hysteria.
Love this post – thank you! Trying to do as much research as I can on this topic. I agree with all of your points. A friend of mine whose daughter recently got a phone (primarily for texting/calls with her/her husband). Her daughter is in a lot of activities (of course she has heard “we didn’t have phones when we were young”) and she has other kids like you so it has helped from a logistics standpoint for pickups, etc. to have some way to communicate. What age do you think it is appropriate for them to have phones? She is working with her daughter on practicing good habits with her phone so it’s engrained when she’s older but I know it can be a slippery slope. Curious what age you feel is best (high school?). Thanks again for opening the dialogue.
We have 2 “kid phones” that can be taken when the kids have after school activities or game where they will need to be in contact with us. We didn’t get these until middle school and they only have talk and text, no apps, and no access to the internet, etc. I’ve found that because we have such an emphasis on everything but phones, my kids only use them for what they are intended. It’s the other stuff that’s so addictive!
Just read your comment Cori about “kid phones” this is a great idea!
I love this! I voluntarily kept myself off of social media through middle and high school. It wasn’t until I went to a summer camp at Cornell that I finally got Facebook to keep in touch with friends I made there, and honestly, I’m so glad that’s how I navigated social media. My mom wasn’t educated enough on it to know how bad it can be. Now, I use it only for business and to keep in touch with old friends and distant family, and there’s so much freedom in that.
It sounds like you were an amazing teen! So awesome!
As a former adolescent mental health counselor, I have seen SO much hurt, anxiety, depression, suicidality, etc., caused almost exclusively from social media. I can’t imagine how hard it is as a parent to hold strong on this topic, but I commend you for being able to do so. Your kids will benefit so much. I am impressed and inspired! Thank you for sharing your thoughts and spreading awareness that it is possible to not allow kids, especially teens, to have social media. Love your blog! :)
I am so glad you shared this Whitney. This is literally the message I have gotten from every single school, or mental health counselor, and it does help me feel that we are approaching this the right way! Thank you for the work you do!
Hi Cori, I think you are so smart to be raising your children with no social media or phones. I am a mom of three grown children and a beautiful little 2 year old granddaughter (with another coming soon!). My granddaughter doesn’t have screen time and I’m so glad. I think you young moms are so smart – and your children are very blessed.
thank you Carroll! That means so much!
Thank you! I am a step mom to two teenagers and I have three other kids 8 and under. Everything you said in this post is right on. I am seeing the negative effects of social media and cell phone use on my teenagers. I’m very much troubled by it. And I do worry how other kids will be towards my 8 year old when the time comes and her peers are all getting phones cause we’ve already told her we won’t be because of what we’ve seen with her older sisters. Thank you again!
stay strong mama! It’s totally worth it!
Hi Cori. I have been following your page for a few years now and really enjoy your content.
I am from Johannesburg, South Africa and we have three daughters, 12,11 and 5. I have also not given my children phones. We have 3 ipads in the house which anyone can use if they have a need.
I really enjoyed learning about your parenting choice and believe they all hold true. I have allowed my elder girls instagram on the condition, they come and show me who they follow and who wants to follow them and also that they keep their profile private. We have also had discussions about the pitfalls that come with instagram such as people using your pics for their own nefarious use. My girls have since then made conscious decision not to post anymore pics of themselves on their profile pic.
We have also been travelling quite a bit over the last 2 years and this year we discussed why we dont need to post pics of our holiday for anyone else to see. The holiday pics are for our pleasure and to serve as memories for us. The girls understood that we dont need to show everyone that we are having a good time but rather to soak in the moment and enjoy it.
I am at this point happy how we have handled the social media issue but I enjoy learning from other similar minded parents their style and choices.
Thank you for sharing yours.
Regards
Shaakilah
Love this! Especially about the holiday being for you and not for anyone else. So good!
I’m so glad I’m not the only mom who sees the danger and the everyday lack of benefit social media has for kids. My oldest is Hanna’s age and grade and he knows that if he needs to get a hold of me there is always a phone to be found. We as a family decided that cell phones and dating should wait until they are 16 and driving. I still dont think that social media needs to be a part of their lives even at 16, but having a cell phone at that point might be neccessary.
Me and my husband share many of your reasons to keep social media far from our developing children. To be honest they are at times left out. Left out of the drama, identity confusion and insecurities that have started to plague our youth. We want our children to remember who they are, sons and daughters of the most high God, and they cannot be reminded of that with their nose to their phone.
Yes to all of this!!! I love how you said they are left out of the drama, identity confusion, insecurities! That is the best part!
I was actually interested in reading this, as I absolutely agree with this. I don’t have children yet, but I have younger siblings and I’ve seen how things have changed in the past 10 years. It’s just very hard to deal with teens needing what their friends have.
The schools in my community actually have parents and students sign that they don’t have social media. High schoolers are allowed to have phones for talking and texting only out of school, so it helps with the social pressure.
that’s amazing!
I love this post so much – I can’t wait to share it with the hubs. We were just having a conversation on this topic as well as the whole “at what age do our kids need phones.” Parenting with intention is my favorite concept and I sure hope we’re not screwing it up haha
I know you are doing a wonderful job Kat! Your girls are so sweet. But it is so tricky to figure out! Parenting with intention has helped me answer so many of those tricky questions! xo
Thank you so much for sharing this! My husband and I only have a baby but we agree that when our kids are older they will not have cell phones or social media or even a personal email. I agree with everything that you have said. For us, it boils down to our job as parents to protect and teach our children. I don’t think that I would be doing my job as a mom (and my husband as a father) by exposing children to things that they cannot handle or should not be exposed to. As an adult I question the value of social media and if it is really worth my time, especially when we are frequently exposed to hate, violence, and immorality. Even with filters and other tools, I am exposed to things that I don’t want to see and certainly wouldn’t want my child to see. I also want to teach my children the most important things in life and it is easier and better to do that without having to add the complications of regulating behavior online or text. As you stated, the skills we want our children to develop are hindered when they are constantly attached to a screen. Childhood is so short as it is that I feel the need to use every second to teach my children and allow them to grow without having the pressures that come along with social media. If I can protect their innocence just a little bit and teach them about the world and how to think and solve problems for themselves before they are flooded with conflicting messages online, then I feel it is my duty to do that. Ultimately, I believe it comes down to doing what you think is right as a parent and being firm in your convictions because there are so many people who will disagree with you. I appreciate you sharing your thoughts and will be sharing this blogpost with my friends and family. Thank you for clearly articulating these ideas. You did it better than I can. And I am glad that I am not the only one who restricts this in their family.
yes yes yes to all of this! Exactly how I feel! Good job mama!
I really want to do this same thing with my younger 2 children. I didn’t with my older 2 that are out of the house and I regret it. How do your children react to this? Are they upset and feel like they are missing out? Or do they get used to it? Do they continue to ask for it? I applaud you for this! I feel it really is a vital protection for your children.
I was intrigued by this as well. I wish I could remove social media from my 9th grade classsroom. It’s a huge distraction and it impedes their interactions with each other. Some students can’t cope with their phone being sent to the office and having to be without it for a couple of hours.
I love this a million times. I’m thankful there wasn’t soical media when I was rasing my kids. I see the lack of social skills everywhere now. Thanks for sharing this. I hope it makes more parent’s think or rethink about this issue.
Hi Cori! I’m not even a parent (yet), but I am mentally bookmarking all your tips and reasoning for when the time comes ;) I love your approach to parenting, and fully agree with your take on social media for kids. Seattle misses you, but New England looks AMAZING on you and your beautiful family! Xoxo
My oldest is 13 years old and he has a phone for calling and texting only (mostly to reach out to us, but occasionally to friends). Last weekend he came to us and told us he was going to buy a better phone with his own money (i phone). We told him that was fine, but that doesn’t mean he can use Snapchat and have unlimited access to the phone whenever he wants to. (we allow 30 minutes per day on the weekend of “gaming” … apps on their kindle) He started crying and my heart hurt for him b/c I know he is feeling left out as all of his friends are on Snapchat. We explained to him we just don’t feel like 13 year olds should be on social media. If he wants to talk to a friend or classmate, talk to them, don’t send them pictures … we have been second guessing ourselves and appreciate your view b/c this is how we feel! I wish there were more parents who would just agree, no social media! Let them learn to socialize face to face, make a phone call, problem solve without google, etc. Thank you!!!!!!
I agree with your approach, but my heart does hurt for feeling left out though I know there’s much more to be gained in the end. I wish schools had a strict no phones at school policy, but there are too many parents that want to be able to check on there kids whenever they want to; even during school hours.
I have to remind my 33 year old self not to compare my body, my house, my clothes, my etc to others on Instagram. I can’t imagine having to deal with that pressure as a maturing teenager and have the pressures at that age! Instagram is not real life. It has filters and people post their life highlights. I’ve had to unfollow people that didn’t spark joy for me or made me feel inadequate. My son is 2 1/2 and allow cartoons, but do not entertain him when we are out to dinner or in the car. I think it’s good for him to have to socialize and even “be bored.” It does spark creativity. At a restaurant I’ve seen him play with his toys or the forks or play peek a boo with other dinners because he wasn’t glued to a phone. Thanks for writing this post. Helps to solidify that the easiest thing is not always best for our kids.
I only have one teenager so far but it is a constant battle regarding social media. When she hit junior high, we gave her a phone but had her sign a contract as far as the usage of the phone. She had to Inital each line. It has many different aspects to it including grade, attitude, extra chores that are required to compensate for us paying for the service as well as other things. We also do NOT allow her social media. I’ve heard at least 100 times that she’s the only one (which I know she is not) but it is something we won’t give in on. She has strict time limits on her phone as well as no access to password etc that allow her to download apps. Her internet is limited as well. Many of the apps allow others to track your locations and lack privacy. We always do research before downloading anything. It is so hard to stand your ground, but it is so worth it. She says we are too overprotective but You only get to protect your kids for so long. And I’m going to do it for as long as I can.
We have a similar approach with our daughter. She is 13 and will be in high school next year. She does have a phone and a Pinterest account (she’s loves to find new recipes for baking). However she does not have any other social media. My husband doesn’t have any himself and we see no reason for her to have it. I’ve told her she is 13. That’s an age that you are trying to figure out yourself. You are already influenced by peers, you don’t need that from social media as well. She has been fine and doesn’t even ask about it. Glad I’m not alone in this approach to parenting because sometimes I feel like We are the only parents standing our ground.
Hey! Thanks for sharing. I agree with you in a lot ways. I am curious how you involve your kids in your social media presence? Do they “approve” pictures and posts about themselves before you put it online? I only have a toddler right now but I already try to think about what I put on social media about her. I’m always a bit embarrassed for kids whose parents overshare about their kids online because the kids don’t seem to have a choice in the matter.
I agree with you on this. I see parents post pictures of their kids when they’re being potty-trained, and I am just mortified for those kids. Our generation has physical pictures we’d rather not even show a friend, much less hundreds of followers!
This is a wonderful post that has inspired me in my late 20’s to take a break from it, for me and my 2 year old daughter. Social Media has become so normalised that we forget the dangers of it, and reading this has made me realise I don’t want it to normalised in our household. I hope this post gives other parents courage to say no to their children and also to re-assess their own social media habits (we can’t so no to them if we are addicted ourselves right?!)
I just wanted to say thank you for this post. While I appreciate your style advice and finds, I have loved the content regarding your parenting and the way you choose to raise your children. They seem like wonderful kids. I’m a mom of three young boys (8,5,4) and a little girl on the way. If I’m honest, we haven’t navigated technology the best so far, and I’m constantly feeling this nagging to do better. I find myself so addicted to social media at certain times and cannot imagine having the pressures of it as a teen. This post really really made me re-think a few things (and we aren’t even dealing with social media yet with our boys!), so I thank you. I would love to know more about your approach to motherhood. I wish I could spend hours picking your brain because I have been so impressed with even the few things you have shared recently. They have resonated with me. I hope these posts keep popping up. Thank you.
All I can say is THANK YOU! I seriously have tears running down my cheeks! I just got so emotional reading this. I only have one child and scared of the her future due to social media! She’s only 4 years old. My husband and I try our best to raise her in a good loving environment. I think we both have the same point of view when it comes to faith! You are so on point with everything. I hope to raise my kid the same.
I love this! Proud of you and your family, It has to be difficult due to the fact that this idea is not popular at school or with friends, but I think, for all the reasons you said, it is so beneficial! I don’t have kids, but I think I would evoke a similar limitation to social media. Way to go against the grain, to do what is best your for your family. Nice to see that in this day in age :) BTW I’ve been reading your blog for like 6 years — love it! :)
My husband and I are not yet parents, but this is a topic that has come up with us several times and each time it is very overwhelming…. what will happen to our kids the more technology takes over the world? Do our kids need cell phones when they are… kids? Is there a way to achieve all the hopes you spoke of for our children in today’s world? We always reflect on our own childhoods, which included a lot of creativity, imagination, and discovery. It’s so refreshing and comforting to hear that it is possible to go this route of no phones/social media without too much difficulty, seeing the positives greatly outweigh the negatives time and time again. Thank you for sharing!!!
I don’t have any kids, so I can’t completely comment on this. However, I am a speech-language pathologist, and I am so glad to see that you touched on the negative ways screen time affects kids’ language and social development. It breaks my heart to see little ones staring at a glowing screen. (Also, many generations before managed to parent their kids without sticking a screen in their face, so I don’t get why society thinks that’s impossible.) On another note, I can’t even count the number of people my age (early 30s) who have said, “I am SO glad there was no social media when I was in middle/high school.” Maybe we should think about that as we consider how this generation of middle/high school kids are handling it.
My son is 14, although he has a cell phone, he still does not have social media. He says it is really hard without social media to be invited to do things. I know your oldest is the same age…What kind of things have helped her with invites to hangout or go to parties? Does she still ask for social media? Or is she content with no cell phone and no social media?
Thank you for posting this. I have one boy who’s 12 who does have a phone and video games. I am the mean mom that limits his time and no other moms I know do. He doesn’t have much interest in phones or social media but loves video games. I was curious – do your kids spend the night with other people and do they have those things at their friends houses.? Do other kids spend the night at your house and how do you handle them having phones and what is their attitude towards no video games. Love your blog – thanks !
Bravo, from this mom of 20-somethings! My kids were not allowed cell phones until they started high school, but I wish I had curbed the social media even then.
Cheering you on in your resolve and clarity about the pitfalls of social media… thank you for sharing. xo H
As a mom of a 13 and 11 year old who had social media and took it away, I commend you for being smart enough to not allow it. We had a bad experience with snapchat. Parents think they are aware of that world and they have no idea. Most also don’t know all of the features snapchat and other social media have to hide things. For those parents who are concerned that their kids won’t have the ability to communicate with their friends, we have found that to be completely unfounded. Since social media has been taken away all of their friends have had no problem calling or texting. Because their phones are locked down to strictly phone and text ability they aren’t fixated on their phones anymore. They are happier, more engaged, seem less anxious, and more focused since it’s been taken away. We will never go back. Thank you so much for this thoughtful post!
this comment is amazing! Good work Mama!
It was so great to read this! My daughter is 9 years old and ‘all’ her friends have got phones and or tablets. It is my intention not to get her either. She does ask me every now and then (usually when she’s come back from visiting a friend), but she knows how I feel about them and about social media (I only have Instagram myself). She does play games on my mom’s tablet when we are visiting with them (once a year as the live on a different continent) for a limited time per day and she has to ask before playing. What does worry me (similarly to another commenter) is what happens and what she is exposed to with her friends. I know there is not a lot I can do about that. I have encouraged her to tell me when she sees/hears things she doesn’t understand or make her feel uncomfortable and I have to say that she does do that and we discuss what she’s experienced and how it’s made her feel. I can only hope that she continues to do that. Any other tips are welcome :)
I’m with you 100%. Great reasons, same as mine. I have three boys ages 14,12,10. I told them they can have social media when they are adults and out of my house!
Hi Cori! I just accidentally found your blog and loved this post. Question: for how long (age) do you think that is wise and realistic to keep this policy?
Thanks for the great read. I have a 12 year daughter who just got a basic phone that calls and text only. She doesn’t have any social media. It is such a constant battle that she is the only one. My daughter is definitely in the minority, but not the only one.
My question is how do you approach this argument with your kids, when they are always saying they are the only ones?
Yes. Thank you for re-affirming what I already instinctively know.
Hello, I have twin 12 year old girls. They are not allowed any sort of socials and thankfully they actually despise all the social apps. My girls are pretty perceptive and tell me that, “Everyone on social media is the same acting, they are not original acting and don’t really think for themselves. They also have noticed that girls dress more inappropriate and act “grown” at as young as 7. In school they have one friend and it sucks to know that at school they can’t relate with anyone because my girls still play with Barbie’s and their peers are wearing make-up and small, revealing cloths (5th and now 6th grade) It’s really sad to see that parents don’t put the time in enough to see what’s going on. Why would anyone one want their 10, 11, 12 etc be exposed to nasty content on an app that has no filter. Kids just look up to random influencers that do nothing original and quite frankly its crap. The only reason a young kid should ever have a YouTube account would be if that child is networking a talent and that’s only if a parent is controlling it. I’m so sad for my girls being raised in this “woke” generation. Suicide is at an all time high and child trafficking. Parents just want to give in because it’s easier makes it real hard for us. I just hope my girls can find people like them. This is a worldwide issue and no matter where you go this is an issue so moving to a new city wouldn’t even matter. Sorry, venting. I’m just so unhappy