Nights are really hard for me right now. I’m pretty good during the day, life is busy and noisy, but at night everything slows down and I start feeling it, the sadness. It helps to remind myself of the things that make my life as happy as it still is:
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1. This little cherub of a baby, and her happy sweet little personality. Precocious in the best possible way, she’s crawling all over the house, into everything, pulling herself up on furniture and filling our walls with her gleeful little laugh. Thank heaven for her baby cuddles.
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2. My beautiful boys. They are perpetually dirty, and I suspect that none of their clothes will survive the summer. I wouldn’t have it any other way.
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3. My niece. She looks like Ethan’s little sister, and he bosses her like she is. I keep telling my sister that she was supposed to be my child, but for some reason she won’t give her to me.
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4. This man. He is so very kind to me, he loves our littles just as fiercely as I do, he lets me be as sad as I need to, still makes me smile, and cried with me over and over again this last week. Thank goodness for good, strong, kind men.
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Cori,
I am so sorry for what you are going through. While I cannot even pretend to understand the depths of your sadness please know that you are in my thoughts. (Also you had me in tears with last weeks post) Even though I do not know you in real life it pained me to know that you were having to go through something like that.
Charity
http://www.joseandcharityspemberley.blogspot.com
And best of all, Jesus loves you. Don’t forget that (not that you would ;)
“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” Psalm 147.3
“the Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.” Psalm 34.18
“Jesus wept.” John 11.35 (Jesus wept, so can you)
And my lifetime verse, I leave with you…
II Corinthians 4:16-18
So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.
Don’t lose heart Cori.
and I leave you this link too:
http://voices.yahoo.com/the-baby-havent-yet-named-verses-help-survive-9124355.html
Cori-
I am a new reader to your blog and just read your posts from the past week and am heartbroken for you. Tears have been rolling down my face and my heart aches while reading your heartfelt account of Ruby June. I am so thankful that the Lord has blessed you with some peace within this storm. Just yesterday I also read a story of a mother with a similar situation who delivered at 19 weeks. I will send you a link privately and I hope that it can bring some comfort to you. Your family is in my prayers. xo Janalin
I miss Elder Wirthlin’s voice. Such a calming peace can come from those videos. It is a tender mercy that you live close to family now and can rely on their faith and love while you mourn. My heart is heavy for you and your family. We are all praying for you and I am grateful that you have blogged through this experience. You will help more women than you know.
Aw you’re making me tear up. It feels so weird to have to go back to real life after something tragic happens. All you can do is keep counting your blessings and moving forward.
oh Cori, I’m so sorry for you. As a new mom, I just can’t imagine what you’re going through. Hold your little ones close and have them bring light into your life. I’m so glad to hear your mister is taking care of you. My heart goes out to you. Stay strong.
Glad you’re cherishing those around you. Beautiful family! <3
I’m so sorry you are dealing with this. I have 5 great boys to raise but also lost babies at 36, 5, 7, and 32 weeks (4 babies total). :( So I have an idea of what you are dealing with, unfortunately. I agree about the nights… they were the worst time of the day for a long time. I got a lot of fiction reading done during those months after my losses in an effort to distract myself. I pray for comfort for your sweet family.
Oh, Cori, I love you. You can call me at night when you’re sad. I will totally let you cry to me,and cry right along with you. I wish I could rush over,and whisk you away for pedicures, sushi, and cheesecake. Your kids and husband are absolutely wonderful blessings. It looks Carter has definitely passed up Hannah in height now? And, Ethan’s getting tall too! Why oh why?
I don’t know what to say except that I’m going to keep you in my prayers for a good long time.
You do have such a wonderful family…so many blessings. If anything, it seems that little RJ must have brought you closer. Her time here was short, but she still served a purpose in this life.
My husband and I have been trying to conceive our first child for 9 months unsuccessfully. I feel like I have lost something every month it doesn’t happen for us, I mourn a child that never even was every single month. Which is why I can not even comprehend the pain that you and your husband are going through right now, there are no words so I will not offer any. Just know that I (along with many) find your love of your family and your fierce dedication to them inspiring and you all are in our thoughts.
I am a long time blog stalker, I mean follower of yours ;) I’ve never left a comment, but just want you to know that you have touched more lives than you will ever know and have many prayers being said on your behalf. Loving you from afar. xoxo
My husband and I lost our little girl last fall and I know exactly what you’re feeling about night time. It was the same for me too. Just something about the night, the still, quiet, darkness was hard to take. You are in my prayers! Love from Michigan!