I had my first 3 babies in the first 4 years we were married. I spent most of ’04, ’05, and ’07 with a large round stomach and swollen ankles. It was hot. Let me tell you. I never planned to have my babies that fast, but sometimes mother nature won’t stop for anything. And I mean anything.
I used to joke that Mr. and I were the 2 most fertile people in the world.
But when I was having my 3rd baby and the 1st was barely 3, like whoa, I needed a break.
So we took a little break.
And Mr. went back to school and got an MBA.
And after a few years, I started thinking that maybe it wouldn’t be so terrifying to have another baby.
And then a few months later, after a lot of thought, we decided it was time to have another baby.
And I thought it would just happen.
Lickity-split.
Like the first 3 times.
But then, a few months went by, and nothing happened.
And at first I didn’t think anything about it, because honestly, I was still a little terrified to have another baby.
(Kids are hard sometimes. It’s true.)
But then I started to wonder, and worry.
Why am I not pregnant yet?
Did something break?
What if I can never have another baby?
Then one month I was late. Really late. And I got my hopes up.
So, driving to our family reunion Mr. and I had a talk.
(Mr. is really quite the most wonderful man in the world. I don’t know if I’ve really communicated that on this blog, but he is seriously the kind of man that every parent wants their daughter to marry.)
Right smack-dab in the middle of my pity party, do you know what he said to me?
He said, “Aren’t we so blessed? Look, we have 3 beautiful kids that God had blessed us with, some people are never able to have children. And our kids are amazing, every single one of them.”
And, you know what?
Everything changed in my mind.
That man, I tell you what, he’s a keeper.
I am blessed. My children are beautiful and brilliant and funny and interesting and smart.
And they are enough.
I hope I get to be a mother again. I really do.
But if I am never blessed with another baby,
they are enough.
And as soon as I realized that, I stopped worrying about the baby I didn’t have, and started enjoying the babies I do.
So Monday afternoon, when something showed up in the bathroom on the ferry ride from Bainbridge Island to Seattle, I was okay. I didn’t even cry.
I spent all day yesterday enjoying my babies. The way they talk, the sounds they make, how excited they were to have friends over to play, the way Carter’s face lit up when he got off the bus and saw me standing there waiting for him.
And in a way I appreciate the dry spell.
For teaching me patience, and understanding, and to enjoy my babies, my husband and my life.
So yesterday, instead of bemoaning my fate, we took the kids over to their school and let them play on the playground. And I took a shot at the tether-ball.
Napoleon style.
Cause, I’m a big nerdy-nerd and it looked like fun,
What an awesome blog post. I am a mother of two beautiful girls but I feel like I take them for granted all the time. Thanks for reminding me not to take them for granted.
SO happy for you that you had a positive spin on something that didn’t go exactly the way you wanted. And you are triply blessed. Plus you hit a mean tether ball. Marie @ Lemondrop ViNtAge
I have two boys and sometimes is really hard for us. We had plan to have more but right now we don’t know. Like you said, we are enjoying the ones that we are blessed with and that’s certainly enough. You are so cute, I can’t believe you had 3 babies. The pics where beyond funny.
ahhh….great post…and great hubs! my hubs and I seperated 2.5 months after our baby was born…(his doing not mine.) I often wonder if I’ll ever have another…but I’m so blessed for the little ONE year old I do have!!!
Sweet and thoughtful post, and I feel ya… after taking quite a break after having 2 kids really close together I thought I’d get pregnant quickly for my third. Not so! But it eventually happened all on it’s own. I’m glad you’ve figured out how to just enjoy life with your current 3 in the meantime :)
What a great post on having perspective! When it was taking a really long time to conceive (and stay pregnant) with our second, I often lost perspective and would get depressed. How unfair to my gorgeous daughter! I hope you’re able to maintain your optimism and enjoy your adorable family :D
I love this story. I think sometimes it is hard to be thankful for the things we already have because we are so concerned with what we want. Men have such a way of revealing this to us. On a different note, I love the colors of the belt with the top. Delicious.
This was such a beautifully written post. Thanks for sharing your insight. I was actually just thinking about you, and this same situation, just today. Wanting to call. . . Love ya. And, always, you’re beautiful.
Beautiful post, it’s always so refreshing to read something real and raw and remember that the people I read about on a day to day basis are human to. : )
I just started reading your blog…I found you via Elaine @clothed much. Honestly, I can completely relate to this post. I have been going through something similar only I have 2 kids, not 3. We have been trying for a LONG time to have a 3rd and it’s just not happening. I sometimes get annoyed when people say “well, you have 2- you should be thankful.” and I am, but after reading this, I can completely agree with you. Enjoy the ones I have and don’t worry so much about what I don’t. I feel encouraged. Thank You so much for being so open and posting about this. I love that you are not just another “fashion blog”, and you are real. It’s refreshing. Thanks. :)
Ahhhh Cori, I’m sorry! I know exactly how it feels. And it stinks. My two kiddos are 4 1/2 years apart and I didn’t want it that way (I had secondary infertility). We decided that after our son was born we were going to just let it happen and when he was 8 months old we (surprisingly) got pregnant again. We were overjoyed, but then sadly lost the baby at 11 weeks. I tried to convince myself it was a one time fluke but then it happened again in June. Now I am back to the sadness and wondering if and when it will happen each month. It’s a hard thing to deal with. I just wrote a post the other day (when my un-welcome visitor showed up early–again) and it included this quote: “Gratitude turns what we have into enough.” So, I am in the same boat with you, trying to be grateful for the two precious blessings I have and focus on them, rather than keeping my focus on the babies I lost and babies I still want. Keep your head up. Hugs, Kerstin
great post! I am done, but I know how you feel about mother nature not stopping! We were married in 05, and had babies in 06, 08, and 09! Good luck! Trust God! He knows what He’s doing!
Hugs and hugs. This is a beautiful post and a HUGE answer to prayers for me. I have been having a rough night and really needed to read about being grateful for what you have. Can I just say I admire you so much? I wish I lived by you because it would be so great to know you in person. You are such a wonderful example and have such a great attitude, even when things aren’t going how you would like. Hugs to you. Thanks for being such an inspiration.
Such a good post. I have been embarrassed to realize that most of my emotional meltdowns over the past years have been about being pregnant (morning sickness) or not being pregnant. It’s the opposite of “in everything give thanks”… right now I just passed the fun milestone of two weeks postpartum, and I’m trying to enjoy the green grass of this time in life. :)
I love your post! We never really know what we have, until it is gone, or we are reminded. My sweet little angel baby was only with us during gestation for 39 weeks, and I so wish I would have done things differently, but we loved her, and that’s all that we knew how to do. Other children will come hopefully, but I am blessed to have little Hailey in my life. Thanks for the reminder of what is important in life! I really love your blog! Marisha
you WILL get pregnant again. i just know it. a lot of times it will happen pretty fast, but then toward the end a bit slower. it will probably just happen like normal speed vs. the getting use to fast speed.
but i know it will happen. my husband and i have never been able to conceive and have adopted all 5 of our children. with the friendships around me, they all have conceived their later babies a bit longer. or vice versa. it will happen. :)
Wow! What a beautiful post! I really want to have a second baby, but my second half isn’t. At one point I got really caught up in the dilemma because I wanted a baby SO BAD and he wouldn’t budge. He pointed out how what I wanted was clouding my view of the amazing things right in front of my face and he was so right. Someday there will be more babies, but for now, everything is beautiful just the way it is. :)
What an awesome blog post. I am a mother of two beautiful girls but I feel like I take them for granted all the time. Thanks for reminding me not to take them for granted.
Thanks for sharing.
very sweet!
SO happy for you that you had a positive spin on something that didn’t go exactly the way you wanted. And you are triply blessed. Plus you hit a mean tether ball.
Marie @ Lemondrop ViNtAge
I have two boys and sometimes is really hard for us. We had plan to have more but right now we don’t know. Like you said, we are enjoying the ones that we are blessed with and that’s certainly enough.
You are so cute, I can’t believe you had 3 babies. The pics where beyond funny.
Thank you for sharing this!
thank you for posting this, cori. <3
ahhh….great post…and great hubs! my hubs and I seperated 2.5 months after our baby was born…(his doing not mine.) I often wonder if I’ll ever have another…but I’m so blessed for the little ONE year old I do have!!!
xo,
Dani
Sweet and thoughtful post, and I feel ya… after taking quite a break after having 2 kids really close together I thought I’d get pregnant quickly for my third. Not so! But it eventually happened all on it’s own. I’m glad you’ve figured out how to just enjoy life with your current 3 in the meantime :)
I am done (done!) having kids but this is a great perspective. I do hope that the future holds great things for your family!
much love coming your way from nevada;)
What a great post on having perspective! When it was taking a really long time to conceive (and stay pregnant) with our second, I often lost perspective and would get depressed. How unfair to my gorgeous daughter!
I hope you’re able to maintain your optimism and enjoy your adorable family :D
What a great post, and a wonderful outlook.
I love this story. I think sometimes it is hard to be thankful for the things we already have because we are so concerned with what we want. Men have such a way of revealing this to us. On a different note, I love the colors of the belt with the top. Delicious.
This was such a beautifully written post. Thanks for sharing your insight. I was actually just thinking about you, and this same situation, just today. Wanting to call. . . Love ya. And, always, you’re beautiful.
Beautiful post, it’s always so refreshing to read something real and raw and remember that the people I read about on a day to day basis are human to. : )
Natalie
http://www.projectdowhatyoulove.wordpress.com
You are so sweet Cori!
I just started reading your blog…I found you via Elaine @clothed much. Honestly, I can completely relate to this post. I have been going through something similar only I have 2 kids, not 3. We have been trying for a LONG time to have a 3rd and it’s just not happening. I sometimes get annoyed when people say “well, you have 2- you should be thankful.” and I am, but after reading this, I can completely agree with you. Enjoy the ones I have and don’t worry so much about what I don’t. I feel encouraged. Thank You so much for being so open and posting about this. I love that you are not just another “fashion blog”, and you are real. It’s refreshing. Thanks. :)
Ahhhh Cori,
I’m sorry! I know exactly how it feels. And it stinks. My two kiddos are 4 1/2 years apart and I didn’t want it that way (I had secondary infertility). We decided that after our son was born we were going to just let it happen and when he was 8 months old we (surprisingly) got pregnant again. We were overjoyed, but then sadly lost the baby at 11 weeks. I tried to convince myself it was a one time fluke but then it happened again in June. Now I am back to the sadness and wondering if and when it will happen each month. It’s a hard thing to deal with. I just wrote a post the other day (when my un-welcome visitor showed up early–again) and it included this quote: “Gratitude turns what we have into enough.” So, I am in the same boat with you, trying to be grateful for the two precious blessings I have and focus on them, rather than keeping my focus on the babies I lost and babies I still want. Keep your head up. Hugs, Kerstin
*when and if*
great post! I am done, but I know how you feel about mother nature not stopping! We were married in 05, and had babies in 06, 08, and 09! Good luck! Trust God! He knows what He’s doing!
Hugs and hugs. This is a beautiful post and a HUGE answer to prayers for me. I have been having a rough night and really needed to read about being grateful for what you have. Can I just say I admire you so much? I wish I lived by you because it would be so great to know you in person. You are such a wonderful example and have such a great attitude, even when things aren’t going how you would like. Hugs to you. Thanks for being such an inspiration.
beautiful!!
Thanks for this!
Such a good post. I have been embarrassed to realize that most of my emotional meltdowns over the past years have been about being pregnant (morning sickness) or not being pregnant. It’s the opposite of “in everything give thanks”… right now I just passed the fun milestone of two weeks postpartum, and I’m trying to enjoy the green grass of this time in life. :)
Wonderful! Thank you for sharing.
I love your post! We never really know what we have, until it is gone, or we are reminded. My sweet little angel baby was only with us during gestation for 39 weeks, and I so wish I would have done things differently, but we loved her, and that’s all that we knew how to do. Other children will come hopefully, but I am blessed to have little Hailey in my life. Thanks for the reminder of what is important in life! I really love your blog!
Marisha
I loved this post, Thank you for sharung Cori. What at beauy=tiful family you already have
you WILL get pregnant again. i just know it. a lot of times it will happen pretty fast, but then toward the end a bit slower. it will probably just happen like normal speed vs. the getting use to fast speed.
but i know it will happen. my husband and i have never been able to conceive and have adopted all 5 of our children. with the friendships around me, they all have conceived their later babies a bit longer. or vice versa. it will happen. :)
Wow! What a beautiful post! I really want to have a second baby, but my second half isn’t. At one point I got really caught up in the dilemma because I wanted a baby SO BAD and he wouldn’t budge. He pointed out how what I wanted was clouding my view of the amazing things right in front of my face and he was so right. Someday there will be more babies, but for now, everything is beautiful just the way it is. :)
i love this post. you are not alone.